caramelizing onions up make some soup tonight DO NOT LISTEN TO RECIPE WRITERS ABOUT CARAMELIZING ONIONS THEY ALL LIE IT TAKES MINIMUM 90 MINUTES

Adulting involves using the phone’s flashlight a lot more than I had anticipated

I still can’t believe them people got on that submarine.

Y’all have no idea how bad a day poor Elmo had just for asking you jerks a love-based question. Y’all all need therapy.

I procrastinated a little but I'm going to do dry January

If your church can afford a foot washing commercial for the Superbowl it should be pay taxes. Like a lot of taxes.

Behind every powerful woman is Tony Hale holding her bag.

Happy Rex Manning Day to all who celebrate!

You should be able to purchase a big swig of Sprite. 90% of the time that’s all the Sprite you need. 40 cents seems fair.

We're honored to have #EXODUSGAME nominated for Most Wanted Game at the 2024 Golden Joystick Awards! VOTE NOW ➡️ ow.ly/qlpO50TEnlN

I just found out that Ted Cruz is at the Longhorn game, and now I just really need you all to vote for Colin Allred —unless you want the rest of our teams to lose in his presence just like Texas women do.

This woman is not wrong. 😳👇

Absolute admiration for President Zelenskyy. The guy has balls. He went into the Oval Office and stood up to Russia’s best negotiators.

Thank you! THIS! Also, this is a low cost box from American Stationary. Proud to say mine & Jen’s have the same vibes. ♥️

if you were born in the 2000s you have no idea what is about to be unleashed

let’s be real the best invention of the last five years is not chatgpt. it’s nerds gummy clusters

This is your call to rise. A new EXODUS trailer premieres live at @TheGameAwards. December 11. Don’t miss it. Synchronize your timepiece: thegameawards.com

It was fun talking to press this week about EXODUS. We're really excited for you all to see our new trailer tonight, so be sure to tune in for #TheGameAwards!

Jun Aslan didn’t ask for this. But survival doesn’t wait for volunteers. Step Forward. Your EXODUS begins Early 2027.