me, lightly touching miette with the side of my foot: miette move out of the way please so I don’t trip on you miette, her eyes enormous: you KICK miette? you kick her body like the football? oh! oh! jail for mother! jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

me, really me, reading concentrated four pages reading slow vs of an burn angst fanfic academic with 300K words paper

Our cat understands english, but only in uwu dialect

this is what the 21st century is all about

I have to ask: Sink Manufacturers - In what scenario would I need to blast water downwards at such velocity that upon hitting the basin it acts as a self defense system to stop people sneaking up behind me?

Happy 10th Skyrim anniversary everyone

Staring out at campus late at night and seeing only a few dwindling lights on makes me feel like a lonely lighthouse keeper. And then they go out and I just feel like a much less poetic idiot.

Wednesday lasted approximately 2 weeks and Thursday lasted about 2 hours. What is this sorcery?!?

Had a dream where someone asked if I could depend on something very obvious, and I responded "Do fences bet on the ground?" Is this a real saying???

I mean, you could have said “The pandemic is like… a heart valve”. Or a water slide. Or a Face tattoo! So many things. But no, you went for the one thing that when you pass through it, you can go back.

Received universally negative feedback from my family on my proposal to own a cottage and name it "The Hideawaybel"

Who in the world was the absolute psycho who saw a blank patch of wall in Kings Cross Station and thought: "I'm gonna put a massive tourist trap here in the middle of this major transport hub"? Curse you Platform 9.75

These Crocs™ were made for Croccin', And that's just what they'll do, One of these days these Crocs™ are gonna, Croc™-a-doodle-doo

Concept: Vampirism is a disease that you can vaccinated against by being bitten by regular humans.

At any moment I could just buy circular glasses and fuck everyone up

It’s nearly time to take to the skies with Icarus Rising! Watch this space for some sneaky trailers soon before our premiere on 14th July ! ☁️⚓️ Mark your calendars and hoist your sails, the Icarus is on its way 🏴‍☠️🦜 #podcast #icarusrisingpod #icarusrising #audiodrama #audio

🎵 And for some reason I can't explain 🎵 🎵 I know Peter Griffin won't call my name 🎵

The fact that alI am markedly less than sober in a taxi on the way home not withstanding, I am so incredibly grateful for the circle of friends I have found in this music community. Not just the ones I was with tonight. You are all incredible and fill my life with such joy. <3

We generally get along with our neighbours but recently they started letting their kids play in our garden... ...Okay, they can stay.