You not a DJ

Anyone who still got they jacket on from this morning got a gun on them

The fake urgency created in corporate life for absolutely no reason is one of the worst things humans have invented.

my cinema hot take is that they shouldn't serve hot meals. movie theatres are for popcorn and candy not hot dogs and pizzas

I’ve been thinking about lamb chops for weeks now. Buddakan might have to see me.

There are too many emails. Too many texts. Too many accounts. Too many logins. Too many apps. Too many rewards programs. Too many fundraisers. Too many appointments. Too many virtual meetings. Too many newsletters. Too many forms. Too many social media platforms. My brain hurts.

the replies to this are actually unwell. “would you take a train from Brooklyn to midtown for an 8pm dinner res?” lmao YES the fuck?? you want to sit in traffic for an hour and a half or hop the A and get there in 30 minutes? is everyone insane

No Child Left Behind ruined the education system and it was 100% ON PURPOSE!!

Started watching RUGRATS with the baby, and I have a few observations. A) holds up, love the intentionally ugly animation style, B) Mark Mothersbaugh’s musical score rules, C) all of the parents are wildly negligent.

Y'all gon "new normal" yourselves into the unforeseeable future as if you have zero agency to stop participating. I'll never pay 70 anything for something at Old Navy

Still tryna figure out why we have a Scientology church on 125th street? Like why Harlem ?

I don’t want no Roti slice, no mannish water slice, no tin mackeral slice, they & the transplants they rode in on can goto hell…

Deed theft in NY clearly isn’t being discussed as much as it should be, and we all know why.

Uber driver burped and then taste tested the burp. 0 stars nasty man.

If this was 2008, BET would’ve been playing The American Dream: The Jackson 5 movie on repeat 24/7 for the last 2 weeks. We really lost that recipe

girl you can barely walk to metlife from the american dream mall and they share a parking lot

I want his ACL on my desk by monday.

The L train at 7 in the morning.