I need everyone who strolls through the city during rush hour staring at their phones to get the hell out of my way, I’m actually trying catch trains. And I need every cyclist and scooter user zooming through downtown with no regard for basic traffic laws to calm down.

Hummus makers of the world, could you please explain to me why, this year, it’s suddenly impossible to remove the lids from individual snack-sized containers? It’s like y’all suddenly superglued the seals on and it is a PAIN to get them open now.

congrats to him. so, uh, leafs, what you doin'? 😐

I really hate that the Pens actually made it back to the playoffs only to immediately shit the bed once there.

It’s so weird how quiet the free speech brigade has gone since Trump took office and began waging an absolute war against speech he doesn’t like.

Me overhearing people’s phone calls today: Man: “So I look up what my options are, and number one, I go to the US…” My interior monologue: Oh, don’t do ~that~ Woman: “The thing for me is, I need to entertain my husband…” My interior monologue: He can entertain himself!

It’s forever amazing how many drivers do not give one single fuck about pedestrians in their path.

Horrific, but fair. He’s not ready to retire, so what’s he supposed to do if the Pens don’t bring him back? (Kyle… please. I want him to retire a lifelong Pen with Sid.)

Received the census notice in the mail today and I’m like, Government of Canada, bro, you’re really going to add something to my to-do list and give me a week to do it? No one has time for anything anymore, give a later deadline than May 12th for a legal requirement.

The principle threat to national security is the abnormal behavior of Mr Trump. We have two more years of this very strange mental state. Irrational. Erratic. Lawless. Extreme narcissism. Inventing realities that don’t exist. He wields unconstrained power.

A reward for our suffering!

I have had enough of rain now, thank you. I am ready for the May Flowers part of this equation.

I want very deeply to be a good person, and I think it’s been to my detriment that I’ve gone through my life assuming most people have the same need. Requires a massive reset in thinking to realize so many people don’t give a crap about basic human decency.