You don’t understand happiness until you wake up on a Saturday morning with no alarm and remember there’s leftover pizza in the kitchen.

Oh boy.

If you have a tree up already I’m not totally judging you, but you’re getting close. Next weekend is the right weekend.

Do you ever get sick of nonsense and just want to shut everyone down? No?? Just me??

Can’t do anything write… see? Even that. Wrong form of “right.”

Didn’t need two full turkeys this year so I smoked a turkey breast. Think I did ok.

🎶I can’t remember anything. Can’t tell if this is true or dream. 🎶

You ever just go somewhere and sit alone? Just be handsome and alone? Just me? Ok.

Sorry, we can’t open gifts yet. The Harry Potter marathon is only on Goblet of Fire. Come back mid afternoon.

Night Owls 🤝 Early Birds The same psychotic energy being awake at ridiculous hours.

Some of you never remember to put jelly on your toast with the butter AND IT SHOWS.

The worst part about staying in a hotel is that when you wake up at 3:30 AM, you aren’t able to make a PB&J because you don’t have the proper ingredients.

Ohhhhh.

The good thing about being awake at 4 AM on a Saturday is I can catch up on my shows!

Why is it that scrolling for movies to watch is often more entertaining than actually watching a movie?

I’m so popular. Alllll the bots want me in their group chats.

The more edibles you take, the better you feel, right?

Shoutout to the TV people who made sure The Running Man was on when I woke up at 3 AM.

Water. Coffee. Beer. Gummy. Friday grab bags are the best.

One thing I gotta get better at is time management. Should have finished all my housework/yard work before 11 so I could watch The Price is Right. Oh well. Can try again tomorrow.