Nothing will ever be funnier than straight men flipping out about a pro sports team doing a pride event. We have more disposable income & buy the expensive seats, Jim. Let them pander to us for a night. You’ll get rest of the season & your bobble heads like a good boy.

Looking for Trixie Mattel™

So, if Maybe Happy Ending wins a Grammy, ol’ Darren is gonna be 3/4 of the way to EGOT.

Do y’all F slurs know the Nicole Scherzinger track with Macy Gray where Nicole impersonates Britney, Alanis and Shakira, cuz it’s amazing

Kumho tires will never not be funny

I mean, has it ever been?

Vlad really is getting his money’s worth.

Yes. And yes. Next question

I really don’t like my actual first name. My momma shoulda done better

Getting my obligatory Pride Pie from Flo

Rainbow (maybe a faint double) over Winchester Rd. Chris Bailey🌪️⚡️

To this day, the funniest, most talented and personable queen I’ve met. Love you, Ginger Minj and tickets acquired to see your ass in Columbus.

An absolutely wild headline.

The way I have no idea what Apple Watch I have, but when I go into the Apple Store app, it’s like “bitch, I don’t know either.”

Now that I’ve mostly stopped tweeting, I have to stop myself from just saying hateful things in the replies.

I can’t tell you how many times my old brain has confused Elizabeth and Diane Warren. One can’t win as Oscar and one can’t win a presidency and they both deserve

Literal cake by the ocean

After escaping this country to celebrate turning 45, I’m back and I’d like to re-escape, please

The saddest part of my birthday vacation was that my EnChroma glasses broke just before I left. But, after nearly 10 years, I’ll absolutely be buying another. But so much thank you to those who chipped in to buy my first pair. So many tears, and I can’t wait for fall now.

The @reds make me want to throw things. Related: I’m just a delight to live with