hottest possible person

me drunk as hell seconds before i dive into a full throated rendition of deftones change in the house of flies at karaoke

love seeing two people walking down the street together and one of them is wearing a completely normal outfit while the other is trying to pull off something absolutely insane

you are not starting a riot, you are starting a family with a billionaire

The Song Of The Summer is "Rudolph" by MJ Lenderman. (An alternate choice is "Knockin" by MJ Lenderman.)

saw bottoms last week and a trailer for an upcoming movie titled dicks the musical played beforehand and it was the first time i thought "that movie might make $0 at the box office"

call me crazy but i go to the bathroom before a movie starts and then again after it ends and i’ve yet to pee my pants in between those two points, no matter the duration

hope you're enjoying the rushing waters of the river styx, kissinger! me and my homies are tasting the high life (refreshingly cold lime cucumber gatorade)

for those who don't think pfork still got it pitchfork.com/reviews/albums…

i love r&b singers of the 00s because in the same breath they will praise god and also say they want to have sex with someone inside of a nightclub

the most texts you receive are not when you accomplish or celebrate something but is actually when your team loses the super bowl

happy national unfollow day to all my real haters

the only thing better than romantic love? larry mcmurtry’s 1985 epic of the american west “lonesome dove”

just what we need, more fodder for the insufferable "kidman clappers"

lord forgive me for what i’m dune 2 this commemorative popcorn bucket

everyone says they want the wild interviews that we used to have in magazines in the 1970s and 80s and then bradley cooper just unspools his brain in the public eye for 6 months and we shame him. smh

merrick garland confirmed android user and is tired of being flamed for keeping the group chat bubbles green

putting "420 friendly" in your dating app bio in 2024 is hilarious. equivalent to putting "miller high life friendly"

if we have learned anything from today's news, it is that men who go to the gym and therapy are not good partners