Was there cake for everyone? Can anyone spot the two parts of this sentence that clash a little bit?

Breaking News: The Onion, the satirical publication, said it won a bankruptcy auction to buy Infowars, a website run by the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. nyti.ms/48TRlan

Surely that would scratch the paintwork. And squeezing out the sponge could take a while.

'We were never a close family.'

The continued death of journalism by a thousand clickbaits. BBC Sport used to be a great place to work, but seeing things like this make me so glad that I'm not there any more.

Double oh dear. #RFKJr

#MikeTyson is available for children's parties.

“And welcome to Song for Ireland. The contest where we select your representative to sing for Ireland.” John Kenny RIP

Here is the truth about Southport: Far right scum used the tragic deaths of three young girls as an excuse to destroy, loot and intimidate, showing no respect for the bereaved families the community, or the rule of law #FarageRiots

🥹 Jessie Knight has announced her retirement from competition. Five-time British champion, three-time Championship medallist and two-time Olympian. Congratulations to Jessie on an amazing career and all the very best for whatever the future holds! 🙏

It's much more pleasant on #Bluesky, what's stopping you joining the fun there?

Our incredible daughter Liz died in the early hours of this morning. She remained determined to the last. Even yesterday she was still making plans. We are so very proud of the kindness, empathy and courage she has shown in the last year. She was not only a phenomenal

Blue Sky is more civilised and friendly, like this place used to be, and lots of the most fun people are there, so there's not much incentive to check in here that often any more. Join us!

Are people still doing this place? Blue Sky is a lot less Nazi with lots of the people you like. Come and join us.

The only reason I've not deleted this account is so I can come back and find old pictures, and recycle old jokes on BlueSky, where lots of the decent people who used to be here now live. But actually use it? No thanks.

4⃣0⃣ DIRE STRAITS 4⃣0⃣ there's some luxury versions of the bona fide classic Brothers In Arms in record shops this week. banquetrecords.com/dire-straits/b…

I don't use this dump any more but will for #VJDay #VJDay80. My dad Pat Shea's #Lympstone #commando training group (Spring 1943?). He (back top row) died May 2017 aged 92. I'd love families of anyone else in the pic to see it. Some distinctive surnames #royalmarines #marines

Blue Sky is so much less toxic, like this place was in the old days. Should anyone be bothered, I'm just Julian Shea on there.

This just in from our 'Hello I am mad and will haunt the country’s dreams for the rest of my life' correspondent.

My delightful guest on My Time Capsule, the journalist, presenter and film maker, Matt Lorenzo, with five things he'd want in a time capsule and loads of other very funny and fascinating things. We could have chatted for hours. Listen here pod.fo/e/34cfa6 Have fun!! x