Really? That’s craaaaazy (I already know exactly what you’re talking about)

If I was a hacker, I’d rig the Jimmy John’s app to give me free sammiches once a week

The bonus check hit and I’m at the concert tellin them to bring out jimmy

Had a long day at work so decided to hit the local dive bar on the way home. Really just your average post work night for me!

Smokin’ on that shit that made third eye blind

At the Call Her Daddy event at a bar in Chicago and it’s free white claws for 3 hours — YET ANOTHER BLACK CHERRY WHITE CLAW

I went to all 9 days of Summerfest AGAIN this year and saw 21 bands AGAIN and here are my power rankings from bottom to top 🧵

I’m drunk for an amazing reason

At the flea market telling all the vendors that if I wanted to buy that I totally would

Post sub clarity

out-naturaling your 24 year old girlfriend rules this is peak white boy summer material

Hey does anyone know what the hw is tonight?

Jane Goodall dapping up harambe in heaven and calling him twin right now

There is someone with immaculate music taste on Taco Bell marketing team and I’m gunna need them to come forward. Please and thank you

One of my fave things about the holidays is when my sister and I look at each other like there is a camera in the corner of the room whenever my mom asks us to do something crazy

Why does the song in the new turbo tax commercial go so hard

If the safdie brothers really want to make peoples hearts race, they should do a movie about trading in the pit at the Chicago board of trade center in the 90’s

Sorry I can’t come my clothes look stupid on me