ao lett8ng me be miserable to the point i qant to die is ok but actuslly dying is TOO far . ok

nvm oll just bp

grieving people before they're gone. grieving the things i haven't lost yet. grieving the life i could've had. grieving everything but the things already dead. whatever.

the fact that everything wrong with me is driven by the need for care. every shitty thing ive done. every breakdown ive ever had. it was all me trying to secure comfort and the worst fucking part about it is that ive never ever got it

can't wait to be alone and bp qnd cs everything and be miserable for the rest of my life. isnt it a wonderful existence.

new stage of grief reached! total apathy. i assure you that i do not care <3

tw // docmy mum tells me my fad molested me latsn ight but i stoll have to care and suppeot and interpret hidden meankgns in your texts 2hile trying to process rhat? thats fhill. im totally iin3 with that

@lolakcalz I prefer putting a Glock in my mouth and pulling the trigger

purged too much the other day i thin bc im havign chest pain. will lucozadefix this or am icooked

i was being trafficked and i binged to cope/make myself less desirable but then id get in trouble and started purging/restricting to undo it and thus started a so far 12 year eating disorder

quitting purging for good bc wtf

not only am i NOT anorexic (recovered too quickly), im apparently NOT bulimic (been binge free for too long) but my therapist says i never had an eating disorder to begin with and that it was always disordered eating driven by my emotions. :D

ed therapist waits until session 8/10 to tell me i dont have an ed. guess im goonna have to leave edtwt..

ready to take a 3 hour train journey as someone who has never got over anything in my life

found out my dad is a pedo and then found out hes DYING a week later. how am i meant to process this?? i genuinely dont feel anything??? like. ok deserved but also. thats my dad.

my ed gave me a gallstone 😃

edtwt rate my hospital dinner!!