“Im not side show bob. You can’t expect me to put a quarter in my ass and get a show”-Julio A

So long to that cancer 😮‍💨

Real queens eat Taco Bell

If mondays had a taste it’s a Ingles sub and accidentally getting unsweet tea

This is the second Monday of 2022 and let me tell ya it has absolutely bent me over and fucked me in the ass.

Some of you really ONLY know how to be a friend when it benefits YOU. It’s gross.

Yal be careful who ya trust the devil was a Angel too🤫

Also I’m ready to go back to nashville and Tullahoma. who’s ready to go

Let’s start a petition to bring back zaxbys milkshakes

💀

Why the hell these weekends feeling like lunch breaks?

You can forgive but I promise you You’ll never forget.

“And as my first act when I become president I’m gonna abolish Red Cross”- Cyrus

Money loves clarity. When someone is investing in you, their goal is a return on their investment. The clearer the path to a return on their capital is, the more likely they are to invest

Comedy is now legal on Twitter

If you buy unfrosted pop tarts your a fucking psycho

Well I’ve watched Tom Hanks lead a train to the North Pole and Joe burrow get a hotel in NY while his family’s on a vacation to France! Merry Christmas 🎄🎁

Woke up fucking poor still. Back to work we all go.

Just had a gentleman argue with me you can’t “Fry” a egg. How’s your Tuesday going?

I just wanna say it took me 25 mins to figure out where the fuck my twitter went.