God damn it feels good to smile with my eyes

Nobody understands that it’s also free to be an asshole

Attention. When you’re driving, put the phone down asshole. The only thing you need to have in your filthy hands is the fucking steering wheel. Stop being a complete oxygen thief people are trying to commute.

What being an overly optimistic #Huskers fan looks/sounds like

This is an elite doggo costume to scare your asshole neighbors

This is funny

Don’t get me wrong I love my puppy to death, but if this little motherfucker farts in his sleep one more time he’s sleeping in the kennel

Kinda crazy how a few years ago it felt we were coming to common ground between parties and now a beer ad has people going ape shit. What the fuck

Obesity is only on the rise because everyone is lazy. Women aren’t retarded l, they know it’s a choice. Men are just as fat today

No matter what you’re going through before you talk just take a minute to sit back and ask yourself “who gives a fuck?”.

Friendship test! Show me your boobies

My best quality is handling rejection 🤟🤟🤟

Fuck it. Tinder here I come!

Before you look down on someone just remember your shit smells terrible after you eat Taco Bell just like theirs.

You gals better quit fucking around and fall in love with me… I’m starting to get worried my grandma lied about how handsome I am

Nothing fucks up a good day quite like a solid fart

#NewProfilePic

Pretty pumped for Halloween this year! A whole new year of getting ghosted

How does Blinks new album give you that 2007 middle school nostalgia with brand new music playing Shit about life as an adult. Fucking sweet.