ME: There’s a crack in everything! CONTRACTOR: That’s how the light gets in.

Be sure to subscribe to my beliefs and like me as a friend

2 cartoons imagining more enlightened explorers. Thanks for letting me debut them on your show David Feldman

Twitter’s “For You” section thinks I’m trash

Tinnitus - Your portable white noise machine

“Buy my rhyming dictionary!” —Hyman Rickshonerry

GOD: Here’s some talent ME: (How can I povertize this?)

TIL what TIL stands for

Rough drawing but I like the joke.

Friends who aren’t that close should be called “frehs.” Do you guys hang out a lot? —No, he’s just a freh.

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Today I shook a hand that was so clammy it forced my mind into the present the way only Zen is supposed to be able to do

Sometimes I “reverse possum” and pretend I’m alive

Cheat code for our culture: Calm, happy people buy less stuff

I’m teaching a course called “How to Transition from Late Night Comedy Writing to Scripted Comedy Writing” You know, once I do it.

Hi X, If you want to see what I've been up to recently, check me out on Instagram! instagram.com/josearroyowrit…