My 4 year old insisted to watch the “Dark Vader” movie today for the first time. He’s an imperialist vowed loyalty to Lord Vader and he embraces the Dark side of the Force.

Have children. Devote your life to them. Spend a fortune on them. All so when they are 4 years old they can say: “Daddy, you are a fool!” I mean, he’s not wrong, but still.

The bit of “come and trim my Xmas tree” in “Santa Baby” is a euphemism, right?

A very happy 50th birthday to my good friend Mark Dailey. He’s finally as old as I thought he was when I met him ten years ago. ❤️ 🎂 🎉

I just got a Valentine’s Day ad. Seriously, stop.

Nothing quite prepares you to the heartbreak you experience as a parent when your little boy starts to pronounce correctly "tomorrow" instead of "totomo."

Overheard in the office: "Do you remember when I was into making balloon animals?" 🤷‍♂️

How is this the year of the Lord 2024 and we haven’t invented a thing to fix newborns’ messed up sleep!!?!? We sent people to the moon!! 💤🥱 😭🍼

“daddy, who’s playing?” “England and Slovenia.” “I’m gonna cheer for England because it’s easier to say.” - Matías (age 5)

Matías (age 5): "Who is playing now?" Jorge: "Canada & Peru" M: "Oh, I'll cheer for Peru because Sofia is my friend and she is from that country." J: "What about your country?" M: *thinks* "No, I'll still cheer for Peru because friends are more important than yourself."

Title: Sparrow doing split Technique: Colour pencils on recycled printer paper Artist: Matías (age 6) #ApexLegends | Apex Legends

🚨🇨🇦 Thomas Müller to Vancouver Whitecaps, here we go! Deal done for German legend to join MLS side. Two year deal in place for Müller who won’t retire and starts new chapter in MLS as he wanted. Deal agreed as @TomBogert and BILD reported, Müller said yes today.