Arms getting crossed, ready to go.

Caught Grant Welch filling up the tank.

3 things that move faster than the speed of light. 1. Jasper Ogburn’s transition defense 2. Ethan Mesich-Fiems’s pissed off fastball. 3. Liam Hendrix’s fist after a game sealing strikeout.

Was able to wake up ten minutes earlier than I normally do today. Consequently, this resulted in ten more minutes that I could gamble today. I don’t have a problem, that’s just how minutes work.

Why the fuck is their an O at the front of Opossum

I’ve been traveling around the world.

Enough is Enough

I wipe my ass standing up. -Big Steppa I’m Big Steppa

Placing a rack on the Miami Heat +8.5 tonight. I have full faith in Jimmy Buckets in the playoffs. I also spoke to senator Durbin in my dream for some reason last night and he confirmed that this shit is the lock of the century.

If I had a baby I would have Davis MF Hoffstatter sign it’s head right now. #bombsquad

Life is a beautiful thing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mark Runkle. #GetRowdyForMoline.

Club cant even handle me right now.

I am fucking Picasso with a manscaped razor.

Just filled up a 50oz Double Gulp cup with dark coffee. A lot of people have been asking me why I need so much caffeine. I don’t want to blame it all on the death of Steve Irwin, but it certainly didn’t help.

I don't mean to play devils advocate here, but a DUI would make for a HELL of a comeback story.

Today is a Gift.

Just watched both books lock simultaneously after my tweet went out. Might be time to stop posting plays.

Can somebody get ahold of Mike Praet and let him know that his son still owes me money for paying his 20 dollar cover on NYE. Ur sons been ghosting me since. Do the right thing here Mike!