Aha i stopped inhaling nic and ive thrown up twice today with a massive headache. #FeelingGood

When i found out shoresy was wayne all along i shit bricks

I want to to cosplay master chief and run around and find any little kids as master chief and collect them to have my own mini chief army (parents permission of course) and then we would sneak attack all of there parents the whole time

I was out 23 days because I pulled a back muscle, but 2 months is 2 months

Somone invite me to your wedding, i missed all opportunities to go any as a kid due to sporting events. I dont know what one is like and i dont know if i want my first wedding to be my own. idk wtf im doing?

Needa workout partner

Today is going to be good. Why? Idk ima make it

Every time i order a LARGE water at mcdonalds they hand me a sweet tea! Stop it

Leave her johnny leave her!!

Bros save dragons

She said “you called me a star!😂” i said because your supposed to be a circle

I said, “ you are a whore” she said no im just a sex addict. And lemme tell ya i laughed

Epic what is this shit

When i was a kid a ran up the stairs on all 4 like it was normal, idk how tf i pulled that shit off. i tried it again and no i did not go faster

Miami is only cool if you’re there for vacation, anything else it sucks ass

Every time i take a pooh i call it a shiest, or a shiesty one

If you have ever burned an American flag it may not mean anything but you have my fuck you.

I wonder if she is still about her bass

Look man, if you don’t give a fuck dont say you don’t give a fuck. You saying that is acknowledging that you give a fuck. Stop, just shut up and dont give a fuck. Don’t say a word