🎙️ NEW: The Arteta Selective Outrage Tracker! AGAINST Arsenal (Wolves, disallowed goal): "I AM REALLY UPSET. I WANT ANSWERS." 95% outrage Same decision FOR Arsenal (Madueke dive penalty): "Noni felt the contact. I respect the decision." 2% outrage varsenal.co.uk

📊 OFFICIAL: The Pundit Bias League Table 2025/26 🏆 1st: Simon Jordan — 0% bias — 97 OP — CHAMPIONS LEAGUE ✅ 2nd: Roy Keane — 22% — 61 OP — PREMIER LEAGUE ⚠️ 6th: Ian Wright — 91% — 9 OP — RELEGATION ZONE 🔴 7th: Martin Keown — 97% — 2 OP — RELEGATED (Non-League)

🚨 LEAKED: The Nicolas Jover Arsenal Set Piece Manual v7.2 CORNER DURATION PROTOCOL: 44.4 seconds minimum (industry average: 31.2s) GOALKEEPER OBSTRUCTION: Technically within the rules "This document was not supposed to be public." varsenal.co.uk

BREAKING: Martin Keown has been relegated from the Pundit Bias League Table. Final standing: 7th place. 2 Objectivity Points. Division: Non-League. Relegation confirmed following the Madueke penalty ,after which Simon Jordan stated Keown's commentary had become "a bit silly."

varsenal.co.uk/jover/

Norway’s Stale Solbakken on Martin Odegaard:"The most important thing is that he is as well prepared as possible for this summer. It would be idiotic to push through something we don't think is wise."Translation:He is not injured.He is resting for Arsenal.We respect the honesty!

🦠 THE ARTETA FLU 11 Arsenal players withdrawn from the March 2026 int. break. Almost a full first XI.All will be available for Man City away on April 19.The Telegraph: "Echoes of Sir Alex Ferguson."We call it The Arteta Flu. varsenal.co.uk #ArsenalVAR #ArtetaFlu

Ferguson Flu vs Arteta Flu 🔴🔵Ferguson: "You've got an England friendly. You're not going." — Nicky Butt Media reaction: GENIUS MANAGEMENT ✅ Arteta: 11 players, medical assessments, no diagnoses. Media reaction: FAKE INJURIES SCANDAL ❌ The double standard is not subtle.

Southampton 2-1 Arsenal. FA Cup QF. 64% possession. 23 shots. xG 1.61. STILL LOST. To 7th in the Championship. Quadruple ❌ Treble ❌ varsenal.co.uk #ArsenalVAR #FACup #southhamptonfc

He rested 11 players during the international break to be fit for the title run-in. Then lost to 7th in the Championship. Gabriel ("too injured" for Brazil) started. Then limped off with an actual injury. Rice and Saka— the two You could not write it. varsenal.co.uk

✏️ PEN GATE Arsenal's UCL preparation! What they trained with: PENS (balancing on index fingers, not allowed to drop) What they haven't held: TROPHIES Arteta asked: "That stays in the dressing room. varsenal.co.uk #ArsenalVAR #PenGate

Arsenals big game player stepping up again when they need him. Michael Oliver is bound to get a Premier League winners medal at the end of the season..

🚨🗣️| Roy Keane on Arsenal defeat to Bournemouth: “Yesterday they were busy doing a TikTok video instead of training against today’s title deciding match, the other day they were training with Pen on their head, I’ve never seen a title contending team as unserious and Arsenal.

Bournemouth FISTED Arsenal 🔥

🔴 THE BOTTLE JOB IS CONFIRMED. Arsenal 1-2 Bournemouth. Title gone. 3 losses. 0 trophies. 11 players rested. 2,068 days. varsenal.co.uk #arsenal #BottleJob #ArsenalVAR

Viktor Gyokeres says a dry pitch "didn't help" Arsenal with their chances today ⚽️❌

🚨🗣️ 𝗡𝗘𝗪: Gyökeres after the defeat vs Bournemouth: "The pitch was maybe a bit dry there. This didn't help."

Grim reading for Arsenal fans 😬❌

I can’t believe what I’m seeing from Arsenal 😂😂😂 this has got ted lasso written all over it

🚨 THE 9-POINT LEAD IS GONE! Man City: 4/7 FAVOURITES Arsenal: 5/4 OUTSIDERS. 13 APR: Arsenal 9 clear. Pundits calling the title. 19 APR: Man City 2-1 Arsenal. Haaland 65’. 22 APR: City beat Burnley. LEVEL. April form: W1 D0 L3 | Carabao Cup ❌ | FA Cup ❌ | Title lead ❌