I need rebrand ideas. I fucking despise fat bitches.

On my way to call things off with my situationship wearing a wrinkled Inter Miami shirt and jorts

When she always has a “bad day”

Sometimes a Chud can just upgrade his mustard when having hot dog wraps.

Need to spice up my vernacular and move away from some of my go-to npc phrases. Gonna listen to Chael Sonnen press conference and interview highlights all day and see what I pick up on

Life is short, be way too loyal to your talking stage/situationship

The situationship got evicted and is on a flight to her home state in 8 hours

Go for a walk they said It’ll help they said

Dioner Navarro (2014-2016)

Resting wojak face

Shoutout to the girls who still take time out of their day to post on VSCO. We see you, we appreciate you

Ex-wife wanted to see today’s clothing haul #FreudianSlip

This would’ve gone triple platinum if Busch Apple was a thing a decade ago anyways hope you boys load up

Tallest man wins tall man award for putting up tall man stats

STEEL MAX

Watching this will boost testosterone by at least 25%

Do you have any idea what kind of lock-in it takes to not laugh your ass off when a bigger girl says “my eyes are bigger than my stomach”

I’m like Mel Kiper Jr. if he ate a slice of his own homemade key lime pie on a pretzel crust instead of pumpkin pie every day

Girl at the bar told me she wears a hearing aid I said what