me greeting you in chinese in the year of the horse: neigh hao

🐴🔥 DONG DONG QIANG 💯🙌🏻😩 GONG XI FA CAI MOTHERFUCKERS 😩🙌🏻💯 🐴🔥 IT’S THE YEAR OF THE FIRE HORSE 🐴🔥 and you know what that means, you qipao VIXENS 😋👩👀 It’s time to gallop into your AHGONG👴👲🏻 and AHMA👵👵’s hearts with your SLICKEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊

if u are a white person who said u r in a very chinese time of ur life, pay up. give ur fellow asians red packets. come on now. put the money where ur mouth is

How it feels to watch both US hockey teams beat Canada in its own sport. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

The difference is by design.

To raise shareholder value...

Chinese people normally: 我们都有一个家，名字叫中国 Chinese people when debating on tofu:

This is an appropriate use of our tax dollars.

While you all learned to code by hand, I was studying the blade...

Americans will say 15 years of hard labor is too much for a tourist who stole a poster but that dying in a makeshift prison is a just punishment for overstaying your visa

A child at Costco was yelling I WANT ICE CREAM and their parents said no and she pointed at me and went WHY DOES HE GET ICE CREAM?

"you gotta play with the cards you're dealt" WRONG. i play pot of greed which lets me draw two additional cards from my deck

go home GI your girlfriend is with Jody at the hibachi grill in Des Moines they’re driving your hellcat GI he ate your kid’s fruit snacks GI

ICE did this to 2 American’s just months ago.

Boy do I have some good news for you!

I'm sorry Bioshock Infinite. You were in fact, right on the money.

Ronald Reagan when HIV medication was introduced