Missed 50% of our free throws, didn’t use our last time out, pulled up 5 feet behind the line with 3 seconds on the clock down 1. It’s tough being a Wichita State Men's Basketball fan sometimes

My brother got his master's the other day, what else should I say on his card??

I need Ed and Lorraine Warren to come remove this bad energy from my life

Me after tacobell

Time moves like 8pm > 9pm > 10pm > 1am

Your acrylic nails belong on my scalp

But I dont need your help, I CAN DO IT MYSELF!

How am I just now learning that jojo siwa is 6'2"

I've been really craving some cold flavorless watermelon from a Chinese buffet

I didn't know the Century 2 building was that tall

If you want to stay hydrated at work just take a drink everytime you get a spam call

It's crazy that Spangles spelled backwards is still Spangles

Honestly, I'm just trying to be a high paid receptionist

I tried Takis for the first time the other day and I just want to say.. I GET IT

POV you were commissioned by an ipad from a manilla envelope to go destroy an omnidroid that's gone rogue on a remote island that is owned by your ex #1 fan who is now your arch nemesis all while your very flexible wife thinks you're at a business conference for an insurance firm

A blessing

I just have a feeling August is going to be my month

It wasn't