So apparently Finding Dory isn’t on Netflix anymore. What am I supposed to tell my 3yr old, how do I explain contracts and licensing @DisneyPixar? The Ellen Show

After dropping kids off anyone else just let that … soundtrack play for one or two more songs cause it’s so good? Then quickly turn on NPR when you realize you’ll be listing to it tonight whether you like it or not?

In one speech yesterday, the president invented nonexistent riots in California and a nonexistent Democratic policy of giving luxury cars to unauthorized immigrants. Afterward, he touted a nonexistent plan to pass a major tax cut in the next 10 days.

Dear Netflix, I do not appreciate the halloween theme imagery on user selection and creepy sound effect you've played. My 3 year old doesn't appreciate it either. PS. Don't give me themes, just keep bringing me good content. K? Sincerely, Kennedy Family

How long does it take a toddler to get dressed in the morning? (We aren’t in a rush, just need to walk the dog.)

Engineering Vols make music—and spread the word that #RockyTop will always be #homesweethome. #engineeringvols

Ah, Spring forward and Fall back. Before having a kid today meant an extra hour to sleep. Now it means the toddler’s schedule is off JUST enough to wreak havoc on the day.

Eating dinner at home should take 30 minutes. With a toddler it takes:

Good job jack. This might be terrible for “the bottom line” but in the end a much better move than the mess Facebook is making. #therightthingisalwaystherightthing reuters.com/article/us-twi…

Washington, DC right now. Please watch and retweet. x.com/hannah_natanso…

Hey NYPD Community Affairs what the fuck is going on here.

Just about an hour ago, police officers shove man in Niagara Square to the ground (WARNING: Graphic). Video from: Mike Desmond

Please help us name this speech:

Been on hold with Air New Zealand for 2.5hrs to figure out a flight they canceled. Plz help.