Happy Halloween 👻

This month is my birthday and my anniversary. Looks like tater tot casserole for dinner.

Best flash mob ever!!! Lol

Props to Bigfoot and the Loch Nes Monster for avoiding 2 decades of the camera phone.

I hate everybody, And pants!!!

Tomorrow is my Birthday. You are WELCOME!!!!

I am getting to that age that my phone needs to remind me that tomorrow is my birthday.

I just found out that my birthday, which is tomorrow, is a raging good bash, already in progress in Australia. Thanks to my new friend Pebbles 🌮

It’s my birthday, Dm me some presents 👀

It’s my birthday. Nov 3, 19?!$&?!! Anyways, follow me. I am still fun!!!!

My back is out, 😬. What kind of pills should I take?

The average person will walk past a murder 36 times in their lifetime. You’re above average though.

Day light savings should come after the election. One less hour of political garbage.

Me, trying to go back to that last Tweet, for some reason.

Not checking anything off my bucket list today!!!

Back pain so strong you call the suicide prevention hotline.

It’s not hard to spice up your sex lives. Cayenne peppers are dirt cheap and the proper shape for insertion.

Twitter is dumb. We are all dumb. That’s all.

I wish I was British so I could say cool stuff like "brilliant" and "crikey" and "I don't have worry about Trump leading my country"