When I got on Twitter last year, I thought that I actually had something to say. Compared to the people I follow, I am basically just sharing macaroni pictures to a room full of adults.

Going to do my best to never see ‘Elf’ again. Can’t stand it. If I wanted to watch an annoying man act like someone way younger than he is, I’d fire up a Dane Cook standup special. #danecookjoke

With all of these “conspiracies” coming true as of late, how long until we find out about Magic Johnson and the whole AIDS thing?

The fighting within the Republican Party over Trump vs. Desantis is going to get one person elected, and it’s neither of them.

If you think that the world is falling apart around you, remember…. 1) Every generation thought the same thing. 2) If the 24/7 news reported on every single lottery winner over $1M, we’d all think it was a lucrative investment. #news

If Steve Jobs knew that iPhone’s primary use would be bathroom flex pics, he’d have jumped ship in the 90s after the teal iMac. “Fuck this, it’s gone far enough!”

How to prevent FORM BREAKDOWN

Instant fame is just one viral video away for every single person on earth, and we all know it. What a horrible goddamn thing.

I keep seeing influencer posts to the gist of “I never listen to music anymore, the lyrics aren’t good for your brain, and if I do, I listen to classical”. This is a bunch of holier than thou bullshit spewed by maladjusted twats, or engagement farming. Music is life.

Progress IS NOT LINEAR !

There are 20,000 Haitians in a small town in Ohio, and somehow that absolutely insane fact is completely glossed over to make room for the pet eating debate.

“So this hurricane is on the way, should we band together and prepare to help in the aftermath?” “Not so fast, we have to figure out who to blame first.” #tubfarts

I spent 10yrs in commercial RE appraisal/brokerage. I have never met so many humorless, caustic pricks in my life. Real estate is just one big game of ‘Go Fish’, it’s not anything to be cocky about. Marcus & Millichap must just seek out grey-suited fuckheads.

Hating on Lars Ulrich is more desperate, lame, and tired than his playing could ever be. Go practice, dummies.

Yesterday I made the mistake of searching for some reasonably stylish work-quality cargo pants for everyday wear. Now my phone is unrelenting with ads from hip, millennial workwear companies whose pants come with more specs than the latest version of Protools.

Retweet if you’d like to see this man — Dr. Joseph Ladapo — serve as the Secretary of HHS in the new Trump administration. cc: ⁦Joseph A. Ladapo, MD, PhD⁩

‼️SHOW ALERT‼️ Saturday, October 4 in Lexington, KY at Green Lantern Bar w/ Swamp Hawk & Acromancer

HUNTINGTON, WV! We are psyched to announce that on Saturday, October 11th, we will be at The Loud with Torches From Above and Ligature. Tickets available now at theloudwv.com or at Orbit’s Record Shop in Barboursville, WV. See ya soon!

Strolled beneath the moonlit sky at dusk, gazing thoughtfully.

A verdant and picturesque park scene captured in a photograph.