blowing myself up

I am once again here to say thank you to Sidney Crosby’s jaw surgeon

what macbeth saw when great birnam wood to high dunsinane hill came against him

this just activated me like a sleeper agent

my whole cl*ss started groaning and screaming when they saw crosby go to the room

THE DOOOOOGGGGGGGGGG

HE’S NOT HERE TO HAVE FUN, HE’S HERE TO BE A DAWG AND SCORE WITH 35 SECONDS LEFT TO GET CANADA TO THE GOLD MEDAL GAME

sorry i actually do not care if sidney crosby is almost eligible for the seniors discount at shoppers drug mart he needs to be at the games in 2030

nothing on earth is more in immediate danger than the stuffed animal they handed nathan mackinnon

and the final twist of the knife was Ron fucking Wilson bringing up the GTHL Toronto fucking Marlboros at the end

genuinely concerned for nathan mackinnon he might kill himself for real

canadian parents i need you to lock in. turn off those mcdavid highlights and sit your child down in front of hours and hours of carey price saves. this is a national emergency

incredible group of women. no one was bigger supports of them than us. me? i was at dinner instead of actually attending their game.

"old" "way back" "2007"

this viscerally took back to an album release party i attended for an indie band at a warehouse on queen west where my friend didn’t let me approach dave monks from tokyo police club because it would have been “too embarrassing”

maybe la bella figura has ruined my life but the amount of people I see out in full blown pyjama pants is genuinely concerning

think grade inflation is high now? just wait until “attendance and participation” bumps marks

jesus fucking christ

"They called it Bath because the Romans built their baths there." "Oh, so like...the Romans built bath tubs?"

went to the allergist this morning and he took a half a second look at my skin before the prick test and said “you need to drink more water”