Super stoked to see Yellow Alex and the Feelings perform tonight at Townhouse! #crazyawesomeLAbands

Just learned my txts haven't been going through. Now I'll never know if my SoYouThinkYouCanDance votes have been counted #LettingAmericaDown

"$50 to Spend on a Robot Birthday Party"? Thank you Living Social!

Overheard @ Starbucks: GIRL: The woman from Meet The Fockers has an album? BARISTA: Um...that's Barbara Streisand. GIRL: Who?

18 years ago today was my Bar Mitzvah! That means the time between my Bar Mitzvah and who I am today is legal! Sexy!

Overheard in LA Fitness locker room shower: Man 1:"What the fuck!?" Man 2:"Huh?" Man 1:"Someone took a shit in here!" Man 2: "That sucks."

My dreams of becoming a child star are slowly fading...

Guys! Not to alarm anyone, but we could be the victim of an 'overheard conversation' assignment for a creative writing class at ANY TIME!

Some shirtless crazy guy brushing his teeth in a public bathroom just told me I'm cute. #PerfectValentinesDay

When are they gonna come out with a Shazam that tells you who farted? #innovator

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Now I finally know what straight people feel like when they watch sports!!! #BreakingBadBlowsMyMind

Sesame chicken, beef lo mein, AND chicken chow fun?!?! THANKS SANTA!!!

I'm teaching a directing class for The Inkwell Theater! Sign up! Spread the word!! conservatory.inkwelltheater.com #directing #lathtr #theatre

Who is going to win it all tomorrow night? Ian Roberts? Debra Wilson? @joewengert? Matt Kirshen? Buy a ticket & see! goo.gl/3a07Uc

I'm a judge in @SpeechlessShow tomorrow night at ACME theatre at 8PM!!! Come on out, it's a HILARIOUS show! Tina Huang🍥 will be judging too!

Such a great weekend performing opposite super talented Arjun Gupta in AmmunitionTheatreCo 's inaugural event!! Thanks to everyone who came out!

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wants to know when Mark Cirillo first fell under his spell.

Out of wine and ice cream. Crown Royal and coconut shavings will have to do. Friday came early this week!