You’re a DEI hire wanna be punk rocker who shits his pants daily more than a newborn. You are the reason millions of us Americans refuse to root for the US to win in anything until the Trump administration is gone. #NukeTheWhiteHouse

Trumps diaper will be working overtime tonight #bountiful

I’m an American, and even I wish Canada won. The hockey team won the game but lost millions of American’s respect.

Finding out Smiling Friends is ending as I am in the parking lot for work

Trivia victory, Mr. pencil sharpener hung his nuts on the entire bar, had his Winslow Moment.

Me when the automatic light detector goes off in the work bathroom #NukeTheWhitehouse

When are we going to get Our Mamdani here in Pittsburgh? I’ll probably be dead before that happens. All O’Connor does is photo shoots and water baths. He’s behaving like a nepotism hire…

When there’s 4 open shitter stalls at work but some asswhipe takes the one directly next to me #DonaldTrumpsAmerica

Fire drill during my toilet time at work. I ain’t going no where Son.

Can we get our mayor to do anything but photoshots? You’re just Gainey 2.0, I want my Mamdani in Pittsburgh and you ain’t it. PS- love Bob O’Connor Golf Course, one of the best courses in PA and at the best dollar, I hope you don’t turn it into paved cement.

If Timotee Chalamet loses the oscar its because of racism

I poop in bathrooms you would never even think to pee in

Druski and Erika Kirk are reportedly dating.

Get me that Tiger Woods Kirktail to drown all my sorrows #clairo

About to play 18 got that Tiger cocktail on lock ready to go

Bro wouldn’t last one hole at the Bob 9

Almost got pancaked on the highway by a Walmart truck but unfortunately looks like I’ll be in the office on Monday

I’ll be at the convention in a dog collar if Jon Ossoff and AOC is the ticket in 2028