According to every third person on Twitter it is "National Cleavage Day". I intend to celebrate by going to a slasher flick.

$540M MegaMillions jackpot on national cleavage day. Half a billion buys a lot of silicone. There is a synergy there somewhere, I'm sure.

If my brother Chris hits the megamillions $540M jackpot tonight, he will buy 540,000,000 McDoubles and invite us all over for lunch.

If I win MegaMillions I'll buy 3 Billion packages of Ramen Noodles & clean up the BP spill by turning the Gulf into a giant bowl of noodles.

If I win MegaMillions tonight I'm totally buying one of the used space shuttles. It's not like NASA uses them anymore. That's a sweet ride.

If I hit the $600M MegaMillions tonight I think I'll do the "full Spicolli" and blow the money hiring Van Halen to play my birthday party.

If I hit $600M MegaMillions I am traveling back in time to 1983 and asking Carie Fisher out again. See if she says, "Sorry kid", this time!

If I hit the $600M tonight, I'm totally building a third Death Star.

Not hitting the lottery Friday night has freed up a lot of time for me today. I don't have to block a single Twitter follower now. :)

Been SO busy at the tax office as the filing deadline nears, until today. No one had the guts to do their taxes on Friday the 13th I guess.

The Vancouver Canucks... what the hell is their problem?

Guys friends, if you don't follow the Playboy Twitter feed, you'll never know just how special Fridays really are. #friskyfriday

Anyone wanna take my broke ass to New York tomorrow for the Belmont Stakes?

"Threepio, shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level, you jerk!" #swyoujerk

You were my brother Anakin. I loved you. You jerk! #swyoujerk

Everyone remember to set your clocks ahead a second on Saturday night now. news.yahoo.com/wait-earth-add… via Yahoo News

US v Hungary in H2O Polo is on. We're getting killed. I guess we're just not Hungary enough.

Water polo would be more interesting if it were played in a deeper see through tank in scuba gear. OH! With electric eels in the water.

Gary Johnson 2012 yo! #IAmLibertarian

So it's "I before E, except after C, unless it rhymes with weigh or neigh", I understand. That's so weird. #englishishard