Every action movie on Netflix right now has a metascore of 50, a user review of 6.5, and stars either Ryan Gosling or Reynolds. Gonna spin that “just fine” wheel!

Disney only drops Pinocchio movies for patriarchs.

If the Sonic people could completely redesign their main character in time for the movie to drop, surely the Mario people can get Pratt back in the VO booth for 4 hours with the single note “stupider and racister toward Italians.” #SuperMarioBrosMovie #LetsAgo

The fun part about the Astros potentially winning the World Series will be seeing them be undeniably good and me still denying it forever anyway.

A reminder to finish your Easter candy before midnight!

SAG and WGA striking together.

I don’t post on this platform often, so you know I mean it when I say that I firmly believe 2024 will be the year America apologizes to Creed.

Tesla Elon Musk when the new model Y with ambient lighting will be available in the USA? This is a factor for my buying decision NOW vs WAIT until it becomes available

Waking up at 4 to work out at 5 to burn off the Halloween candy I ate at 10, it occurred to me that if I just went to bed at 9 I could sleep until 6?

I dreamed this tweet: Just an old turkey who doesn’t know about Yung Gravy! Thanks all.

All the manger animals are in people heaven, right? Like, yeah it’s a place mostly for people but there’s gotta be room for God’s hall of fame donkey.

We are going to need to chat with the Walt Disney World refund department… youtu.be/esAVSDQclfI?si…

Love this, but I will remind the court; this does not improve the 2024 Cubs over the 2023 Cubs on paper, this just actively prevents them worsening. But maybe that’s enough?

“I got a callback to be a stand-in for Kate Middleton in doctored photographs but they told me my ankles were too clearly Floridian”

"Of course, I'm familiar with the Marchioness of Cholmondeley, Lemon. We had a brief, but torrid affair in 2005 after I stole her away from Clive Owen mid-conversation during a St. Crispin's Day party aboard Sir Richard Branson's megayacht. Obviously, nobody knew I was Catholic."

Picked a hell of a week to try limiting screen time.

25% of movies should basically be Mission Impossible 25% of movies should basically be When Harry Met Sally 30% of movies should be National Treasure 10% of movies should be JLo’s This is Me Now/Cats 10% should be Oscar worthy stuff like The Favourite / Parasite. Real art.

the white sox are 31-104 104 losses is the most losses ever thru 135 games in baseball history & baseball has been around since before cars