Taxi system in the UK is very different from Mexico

London fucking sucks after I saw this

I love Germany

Aperol spritz tower (3,5L) for the boys (me, myself and i) for the eurocup in Berlin. Goodnight

Munich for the Euro cup is the greatest idea ever

Side note: French women are amazing

The Scottish fans at the Euro Cup were so unbelievably annoying.

I stand with Big Tobacco 🫡

I need an aperol spritz and a hand rolled cigarette

Doing some fucking psychotic shit tonight

Linked in is for fucking nerds

Fuck it I’m going fishing

Need some more excitement in my life rn

Possibly the worst bread pudding I’ve ever had. Of course it’s in Montana. My OG followers know about the bread pudding ratings 3.5/10

Who the hell let me drink 6 martinis on a Monday night

Women hate to see a man happy

She said, “I worry you don’t have the time or energy to commit to me” she real for that one

I hate it when they actually make sense

Ending my Labor Day like a real working man (watching Bruce Willis Movies)

This woman has requested that I shave my beard if I’d like to sleep with her, so I will be shaving and then immediately ghosting her