I am so glad we are all just terrible at replying to one another via text/DMs etc., if any of you start getting good at responding to notifications STOP so the rest of us won’t feel bad about not getting back to you like you’re capable of

this is the future of dogs

They call me ranch cause I be dressing

My fall plans The Delta variant

we got ourselves a showdown

Big, dramatic yawn and arm stretch until they get the hint

I heard the perfect Covid quote today. “If you don’t trust doctors and science to keep you from getting sick, why the hell are you clogging up hospitals trusting them to cure you?”

the PEOPLE’S caviar

So did some random guy come to all of your middle schools to do yo-yo tricks for an hour in the auditorium for no reason or was that just mine

You can just buy an ice cream cake whenever you want. They don’t even check if it’s your birthday or anything they just take your money

Every two seconds someone is engaged, excited for y’all but dayum

prolly like 20 muffins in the whole truck