I've got a bluebird now he's dead.

A water bed full of piss

Absence makes the heart grow fungus

I awoke with the feeling of a pain in my heart. Well... time to work on a 17 year old Ford. I mean... what else can you do. Just be your dad with less death. Right?!

My life is a movie... but it's on a beta tape and no one can wrap their head around its glory.

My political choice is making people that would eat the corndog stick without saying anything be in charge....

Nobody wins against the cyclops

Twitter is alot like screaming at a wall... I like it

I nap like rust

My epitaph will read, willfully employed.

I do t like mondays