“why does your fb avatar look like martha stewart?”

rest in paradise legend 🤍

brushing my teeth to “my shiny teeth and me”

dear whoever t-boned my mom

“she smells like a costco hotdog”

waiting for my friends to date good men 😮‍💨😮‍💨

dm me ur cool jimmy neutron name 🤪

i watch khloe kardashian’s snap stories like we’re real life bff’s

had a dream last night i was on the titan sub and the window cracked i just kept telling myself “if i die at least i wont feel it” we were just floating around aimlessly and then i woke up in a panic🥲

when girls i dont know personally or havent talked to in a long time have me on their private/close friends list it makes me blush ily all 🥹

me as a barbie

some told me today they’re excited to work w me bc it seems like i “have my shit together” which is the nicest and most untrue thing someone has ever said about me

working hard to one day be able to afford my own mojo dojo casa house

i dont trust anyone who says cantaloupe is a “filler fruit”

this is my kind of humor pls

my spotify ai is hitting hard w my depression era throwbacks

#RealestPersonOnEarth just here to win a contest