My wife and I both like playing games, just differently.

Me? Just reading the memes on 1940s radio:

Husband: "Can I have a bite?" Me: "No, because 'bite' means half of my sandwich." H: "I promise it won't." Me: "Less than half?" H: "Yes." [ENORMOUS CHOMP] ... ME: " You've sealed your fate." #MarriedLife

10yo: Listen to this electro swing song with indecipherable lyrics. Kids say you hear how you died in a past life. I wrote down the crazy stuff I heard when I listened. Isn't it cool and creepy?! Me: [Googles] Here are the actual lyrics. #wonderkiller Pamela Ribon

If only this could be made real. WANT.

Seth MacFarlane

Scuba divers must decompress in a chamber to adjust to changing pressures before reentering their natural environment. The same goes for parents who sit in their car in the driveway for a few minutes when arriving home from work.

The kids are downstairs vocalizing the sax solo from "Careless Whisper," and I don't know what that's all about, but it's pretty entertaining.

Who does Apple think it is, to tell me that the way I like to scroll my mouse isn't natural?

yvette nicole brown 😂 Who did this?!?

But do they? Do they really?

So so sad about Leslie Jordan. I think he'd appreciate how many text threads of Southern mamas are going off right now, like,"I just can't believe it!"

Twice in the last three days, my family declared that I was completely unfindable when I was literally on the *same* floor in the half bath. I'm now calling it the Room of Requirement.

A lot of games on my phone are 2-in-1: you get the puzzle part they promise, then the extra game of trying to find and tap the correct 0.05mm area near the X in the upper right corner to close an ad. You don't lose points when you miss; worse, you get sent to the app store.

Jared Yates Sexton

I've microwaved the same mug of coffee four times in the last hour, probably. Any chance I'll get super powers from the radiation?

100% sure someone is already planning a 90-min. Hulu documentary, "Not Netflix." #Loveisblindlive

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

I miss TVWithoutPity . That's it. That's the tweet. #TWoP

MAKE IT. MAKE IT. MAKE IT.