For Christmas I'm giving my kids an ex-box!

Grumbling medieval dads going around the castle putting out candles

i said get me those dalmatians

I’m helping my daughter write valentines to her class and I think we may have just misspelled Brynxleigh’s name.

All The King’s Buckets.

My son told me, Dad you were born in the 1900s. And I realized... Fuck he's right.

Where you would end up if you drilled a hole from each MLB ballpark straight to the other side of the Earth

Ahem, Serial Productions

Is it kids? I bet it's kids.

At Disneyland. Let's fucking go.

Does anyone know of a good website where I can get a shirt and then also two emails every day for the rest of my life?

Perfect execution

Alright, society. Settle down with the crumbled Oreos on everything.

?

[smoke-filled backroom] Big Bun (takes a cigarette drag): So its agreed then? We'll do 8. Big Burger: And we'll do 6. Big Hot Dog (eating a hot dog, nods solemnly)