The only good thing about having Alzheimer’s is you never have reruns on tv

I Swear the cats keep leaving chocolate out for the dog to eat!

Just watched the Price is Right. How do those models not fall while walking backwards?

I'm going to shave off All my hair & put it all over the Cats & Dog! Let Them see what it feels like to be covered in MY hair!

They say a picture adds 10 pounds. Then why does my dick Still look small

I just vacuumed the living room. Sounded like sand being sucked up beside where i sit. Must have been all the boogers i flicked there

I got so sick last night. I think a chocolate chip got stuck in my nose while puking.It melted later & looked like a brown bloody nose

I had an MRI Brain Scan done recently. This image showed up

One of my cats has the greatest eyesight. Can follow a booger flicked through the air

Has any company come out with Deodorant for Butt Cracks?

I just vacuumed my dog again. I still say a vacuumed dog is Not as good as a shaved pussy

Yeah! It's BBQ Season again. Time to loose all my knuckle hair for the summer

If a woman uses a bikini trimmer. Does a man use a speedo mower?

Superman is the Man of Steel. How come his hair isn't like steel wool then?

I kept seeing my cats licking my floor. Found out it was dry boogers i flicked. Must be like a Salt Lick for them.

My cat just chased a Huge Centipede under my chair i was sitting in. Anyone want a chair??

I'm painting my livingroom wall. I prefer painters tape anyday over plumbers crack

If Persia makes the best rugs then why don't they make the best vacuums?

Have you ever gone to turn on a light switch only to find a booger on it?

Always keep your pinky finger nail trimmed. You never know when you need to fish for a booger and not cut the inside of your nose.