Hovis Presley Doctor, I have trouble pronouncing effs and tee aitches Well, you can’t say fairer than that.

When are we going to get rid of refs who don’t see wrestling in the penalty area, and that clown last night who said Kane was “diving” ?

Went to Greggs yesterday, no cheese and onion, no meat and potato, no steak and kidney, sounds like someone was telling porkies or a distinct Spooner pack of lies.

Absolute fantastic news about the cave boys and coach, our thoughts are with them all, and a thought for all the rescuers who did a magic job.

Shearer is talking crap. A definite penalty from a set of thugs

Did you know that Mugabe comes from Lancashire, cos If you say his name backwards it’s ‘e ba gum.

One more from The Chairman, ‘don’t rock the waves’

RIP Enzo Calzaghe, dad of the unbeaten Joe.

Three cheers for this lad, the ultimate trier.

If a bra is an upper decker flapper stopper, and a jockstrap is a lower decker knacker checker, what is a punchdrunk oriental whose father has the hurried footsteps ? Answer = A slaphappy jappy with a craphappy pappy.

Somebody’s sick mother is waiting for a phone call or a message from her son who frequently tweets, but never calls. Hold your hand up if guilty.

Happy birthday Hubble, you have given us many hours of great scenes.#Hubble29

With reference to Bela Lugosi and to the tune of Besame Mucho, sing “ Bela, Bela Lugosi since I met you I’ve become a physical wreck, Bela Lugosi each time I wake up I find I’ve got holes in my neck “

Just watching Pointless, a couple going to try to scoop up jackpot but never read a book between them. What a pair of idiots !

Best wishes for your birthday today, lots of love, Granddad xxxx

I would like to say thank you to all who sent me birthday greetings today, as I’m housebound it has given me great pleasure to know that so many people have taken time in this period of trouble to think of me, i feel so proud. I want to pass on to others like me to say take care

A true gentleman and great ambassador for the sport RIP

RIP Chuck Yeager, the original ‘steelied missile man.’

Went for my first COVID vaccination jab in Rochdale today, the system is so slick and friendly that you feel like a special customer and you are moved from reception to registration onto injection, recovery and booking next visit that it’s over so quickly the staff are magic

RIP MIchael, a steely-eyed missile man"