why was joan of arc my sexual awakening

I was today years old when I realized the big guy pulled a knife

ive literally been laughing for an hour now

buying a subaru based solely on the ghost credit vine

George Harrison dropping All Things Must Pass

I literally don’t know what makes me happy anymore lmao

fighting for my life trying to leave the house 🥲

doctor: so this patient has a broken leg med student who’s secretly a horse: oh no… doctor: which we can easily fix med student who’s secretly a horse: what?? doctor: in the meantime we’ll just give him some jello med student who’s secretly a horse: fucking WHAT??

not vivaldi's winter breaking into my top ten songs of the year 😓

And the Michelin Man removed the tire from his waist and gave it to them, saying, “Take this and drive; for this is my body.”

ahh sorry i’d love to but i already have plans

our lives are in your hands and you've got butterfingers??

bro are you doing ok? all the sonnets youve been submitting in sonnetchat have a tone of sombre resignation

I fear that I am the homie who is chill but harboring a deep indescribable sadness

ended the 24-year goal drought tonight we’re back in business fellas

I love that beavers have a genetic dislike of the sound of running water . They’re born at the river like Goddamn shut the fuck up What’s with all this fucking racket Jesus Christ?? Can Somebody do something about this fucking noise?? Fine .. Nevermind. I’ll take care of it