me to my wayward son

Ggggghhh

apologies to the kids trick or treating, i didn't get time to put the razor blades in the chocolate this year so i'm gonna have to give you a bar and a blade and leave you to do it yourself. won't happen again!

I am once again asking you to tell me what I want for christmas so I can reply to my mother

2025 will be my year

Return of the century this, can’t believe she kept it under wraps fair play

Feb 29th should be a bank holiday. Can’t believe I have to give a free extra day of productivity to the shareholders

carrying my wayward son is my arm workout

wtf the gaviscon fireman doesn’t nut in your throat in the ads anymore??!!!! woke wins again I guess 😔

HhahahahahahhahhhhhahahhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahhahahahAhahahahahahahHahahahahahahahahahhhhave that you cheating oil bastards

Me walking down stairs: Yipppeeee wahoooo!! Me walking up stairs: Awww geee yucckkkk

This is so fucking funny

Southgate is the luckiest manager in the world lmaaaoooooo

Is Kalvin Phillips warming up yet?

When did Twitter start looking like my Step Grandad’s Facebook?

2026 will be my year 🙏

No catcalling??? But dude I love cats!!

What has two thumbs and an inability to sleep at night because the heat has sapped them of their vitality and left them a corpse lain on a mattress slowly sinking into it, though falling perniciously through the halls of hell itself? 👍🤪👍

Sports!

Sprite