I love being in bed. Yeah, everything is terrible, but at least I’m in bed.

The girlies on TikTok are making Ludvig edits, because of course they are. I have no notes. (Via golf_brat)

I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone yell something at a golf tournament and thought wow that was funny I’m so happy they did that

oh no i feel anxious but its ok!!! i have this rly great coping mechanism called Pick At My Skin Over and Over Again that makes it all better

ever since i was a little kid i knew that i wanted to be late for work

raspberry cold foam 😭😭 tell me you don’t know your source material without telling me you don’t know your source material

If you’re 28 years old go fuck yourself

“but you handled it so well” thanks! i actually gave myself an autoimmune disease

"stock up on your prescription medications" ma'am I am on a controlled substance, if I so much as smile too much while I'm picking up a refill they make me swear a blood oath that I'm not selling my meds behind the nearest 7/11

i didn’t know you could just post dick and balls on instagram

hey man sorry i didnt text u back for a month, im only on my phone 22 hours out of the day

Work. Work. Work. Stay hydrated. Go to the dentist. 10,000 steps. “What’s for dinner?” Insurance. Drink water. Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Smile. Credit Score. Check engine light. Go get gas. ALLERGIES! TAXES! STUDENT LOANS! Phone storage full. Email. Email. Apple $12.99. Apple

To be fair, the two physicists were sharing the cost of the apartment, which might help explain why they were able to afford the same living conditions of a waitress.

They grow in like wisdom teeth so hang tight

my dad has entered the masters lottery the second it opened every year for 20+ years, and a lot of his friends too. has never won, and may not ever win. i may never win the lottery. but i am glad that all these influencers who film and dress up in tacky outfits get to go instead

happy euphoria sunday everyone i’m furious that they dedicated the episode to eric dane and didn’t mention angus cloud once i hate this show

which one of your dads is this 😭