Just seen Jeff Shi in the Toll House Willenhall ..... they got a Syrian Elvis Impersonator on tonight Amal Shukkup ..... his Alpaca was tied to a tree on the car park and was having its balls waxed for charity .... ☝️💥💦🍆

Some players see themselves so differently don’t they ? Thanks god we don’t sign these kind of me me me players here at Wolves. Danny thinks he is Virgil Van Dyk when he’s more Virgil out of Thunderbirds

Oh dear ..... “Recently released too early” .. “Serious mental health issues”.... “others hiding him after the event” ... Birmingham knife rampage suspect who 'killed 1 and left 7 injured' freed from prison just five months ago thesun.co.uk/news/uknews/12…

Cliff Richards has come out in support of Djokovic and has said he has “lost count of the times he has had balls strike him on the chin” ☝️💥💦😂

This is the best reply to my joke or ANY joke I’ve seen 🙄🤪😂

It’s illegal from Monday to have more than 6 people in one place ???? That’s Phil Fodens sex life fucked then ..... 😳🙄

BGT rocked by over 1000 complaints about Ashley Banjo String and his ‘tribute’ dance 😳.... they are hoping to get that back on track this week with a moving duet called ‘The garden of Love’ by Fred & Rose West ....

Matt Hancock is like a box of chocolates ..... looks ok , decent packaging .... but you know he’d kill your dog 😳

Current situation , where me dog dem am helping me with a bit of a hangover !!! 🐕💦🤢

Hey up, anyone heard how the innocent stabbing victims of Brum are doing ? We all know that Jacob sadly lost his life but what of the others ? No one seems interested in reporting anything? Or have I missed it .....

Been proper let down today .... I paid a carpenter to make me a king size bed and he’s only gone and done a fucking bunk 😳😂

In summary then .... It’s 6 here in or out including kids.. Wales it’s 6 in & 30 out from 4 houses unless you’re under 11... Scotland it’s 6 from 2 houses or 15 out unless you’re under 12 ... Thank fuck that’s all cleared up then eh .... Happy Monday fukkaz

What a start to the game , the season, the journey , quality first strike .... and how about that fucking header by the way ? Good debut for Marcal and Lofty had a good game too 👍

Got to say that Tony Blair ( bombed Afghanistan and Iraq illegally ) , John Major ( knobbed Edwina & lied about Maastricht ) and Cameron ( bombed Libya & Syria illegally ) are spot on about us losing our integrity if we ain’t careful with Brexit .... cunts 🙄

Big changes at the Panto this year when Snow White can only have 6 Dwarves , none of them are gonna be fucking Happy ... 🙄

Fuck me gently, Gordon Ramsey’s sibling been in prison for fraud , drug dealing ,violence & bring a cunt. Gordon is a famous chef, property owner & celebrity ... Just shows you can’t fucking judge a cook by his brother 😂