There is no one I have less in common with than the me who wrote my Facebook statuses circa 2008

what if we kissed on the jairs

is it me am i the drama ???

staying off social media today cause fuck valentine’s day lmaooooo

serious question who wants to come to a rage room with me today

Kanye is not a real person

Ashtray behaved irrationally.

how the fuckkk are anacondas real

beautiful day to do absolutely nothing

GOD why am i so petty naturally

“ i used to go to horse camp here, but i didn’t like any of the kids there so i hung out with the goats” - marina

you know the show wife swap ???? well does anyone wanna do that with me but like a life swap and like permanently please and thanks

i just looked into emily marikos eyes while she measured her soy sauce and now i can’t unsee it

forced birth in a country with baby formula shortages and mass school shootings weekly you can’t make this up

Friday!!!

why do people always cry on their birthday

I haven’t gotten there yet ….I’m on episode 13 when Prince Phillip comes back and Queen Elizabeth ain’t gave him no pussy

Good friends let you go punch to punch in the ring🫶🏻

any person who abuses animals should be forced to watch Marley & Me and Eight Below on repeat for the rest of their lives till they’re not a piece of shit