You put Ben Franklin in a time machine and as soon as he stops screaming he’s gonna drop $300/month minimum on Onlyfans

We’re rapidly approaching the point where no living dog remembers 9/11

you ever have a friend become a doctor and are like "oh no...are doctors dumb"

San Francisco startup ads are like “Stop Worrying About Kubernetes and Get Back To Your ML/AIops Strategy.” New York startup ads are like “We’re a dentist, but more expensive.”

Damn, she’s good

"Gonna go listen to some live blues where no one cares about race," is just a remarkable feat of a sentence.

I’m no fan of The Queen but meeting Liz Truss and then immediately dying is a move I respect.

Damn even ketchup is sad

Oh, you like Leonard Cohen? Name 3 of his songs that have securitized as collateral against Blackstone debt. ft.com/content/e879f8…

this kind of smart, walkable, mixed-use urbanism is illegal to build in most american cities

kid told me he learned that Santa isn't real from youtube so that's one less piece of parenting I have to do

after coding in go for a while at work then going back to python and its dynamic typing for a personal project it feels so fast and loose. got no idea what the fuck this functions gonna return and i feel so alive. the thrill of it. im a badboy and im smoking a cigarette

*in morning standup* uhhhh yea today im gonna balance a binary tree, reverse a linked list, find the longest common subsequence of two strings, enumerate all the paths thru a 2d grid, and find whether 2 numbers in a collection add up to a target value. no blockers

Morocco, 732 Morocco, 2022 🤝 WE HAVE CONQUERED THE IBERIAN PENINSULA AND ARE PREPARED TO BATTLE FRANCE

WE HAVE A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT. It's spelled "whoa," not "woah."

scully: its so weird, out of nowhere he just started treating people with basic decency and respect mulder [throwing a manila folder on the desk]: ever hear of the woke mind virus?

high school emo gf: zomg look! these cute stuffed animals are killing eachother, and their guts are stuffing 🥺 me, reading wiki "list of sandwiches", figuring out what i have/haven't tried yet: Dagwood... check. Deli... yep. "Denver"...? unfamiliar. Döner kebab? No, but want to.

Once before class my friend said to me "time to clean house" and walked into the class his brother was in and just kicked him in the nuts