This is Le Grand Bleu. It is one of the biggest yachts in the world. It is owned by a Russian oil billionaire. It is moored off Fife. Boris is on holiday somewhere in Fife. Boris is very friendly with Russian billionaires. He likes visiting their yachts. Where's Boris?

when you realize you might not be able to lock up immigrants for profit anymore

So, after four days of refreshing that webpage every 2-3 minutes I go out for one run and then the number finally changes. Still, phew though and all that

In even more significant news today, I found out my parents call a man in their village “Adrian Chainsaw” because he *doesn’t* own a chainsaw

This is like finally having a shit after a long haul flight.

I’d be intrigued to peek into the alternate timeline where the worst thing Trump ever did was falsely claim to be putting the second coat of wax onto someone’s car and see what’s going down there tonight

Spot on analysis from Matt Frei

Almost missed the news that Rashford has won and again forced Boris to u-turn, but then I guess that was the point in the timing on that announcement?

It’s only a few days in and already obsessing about things to DEFINITELY do once lockdown all over. Currently favourite is going to the Poldarks tin theme park in Cornwall to get a photograph of me in old timey costume

Fun little detail on Letterboxd — if you log Portrait of a lady on fire the rating system switches from stars to flames.

Hi Boris Johnson, we have a car park out the back if you'd like to use it for your announcement on free school dinners over Christmas?

Big shout out to winging it on the Sunday shop, only to get home & find you’ve bought nothing you need & doubled up on everything else

I put the soundtrack from ‘The Witch’ over this and it’s now the most terrifying thing i’ve ever seen.

31st anniversary of the that time The Sun decided publishing pictures of Michaela Strachan in her underwear against her wishes was equally as important as the fall of the Berlin Wall linktr.ee/SunburnJamesFe…

'Stop immigration Reject Common Market Make Britain great again Scrap overseas aid Vote National Front' Amazing & horrifying. It took 50 years but the National Front has triumphed

Just up in the attic of my Victorian house, feeling like a baddie from Luther

Exclusive: The Science Museum has signed a gagging clause in its agreement with Shell International to sponsor its climate change exhibition, agreeing to take care not to say anything that could damage the company’s reputation, Channel 4 News has learnt.

Just looked at my LLHM t-shirt for tomorrow’s race and feeling like Brett from The Conchords

Just watching Liz Bates explaining that the row about Uxbridge and ULEZ means politicians may increasingly row back on green commitments. Meanwhile Rhodes is on fire and this was northern Italy yesterday. I don’t think I can cope with much more idiocy.