Isak £150m. Osula £145m.

If your news content teaches you that Keir Starmer is somehow personally responsible for a woman committing a crime, pleading guilty, and going to prison then it's probably not news at all, it's propaganda.

ClarksonsFarm This account has a blue tick but it has nothing to do with the show or Diddly Squat.

Note to British politicians. THIS. ALL OF THIS. #FarageDestroyed

Her tampon was forced so impossibly deep into her that it had to be removed with forceps at the hospital

ECHR offers protection against unfair dismissal from work, protects pension rights, maternity leave rights and protects women getting divorced. People who think it's a good idea to leave should be ridiculed like flat-earthers. The ignorance is astounding.

I suppose Rayner can now sell her posh flats in Glasgow, her Chelsea mews house and £19m London townhouse, plus her yacht, while she works out how to get the National Crime Agency to unfreeze £75m of her assets. My bad, that's Michelle Mone.

I'll translate: "I will destroy the welfare, social security and state pension systems in this country. It is not fair that the rich should have to pay for people who are disabled, who are sick, who the rich have sacked or who think that 35 years of NI contributions entitles

English media would have you think that someone who looks & sounds like big John is the face of racism- in actual fact, John's a normal, open minded guy, and the real nasty stuff comes from repulsive posh dweebs like Douglas Murray

Notice to flat-Earthers in the Eastern Hemisphere witnessing a Total Lunar Eclipse right now: Please alert the authorities if your eclipse tonight looks like this:

I know 0% of people who wouldn't respond to "I feel elegant and gorgeous" in the way you would like...

Just saw Postecoglu and Marinakis described as 'the manager/owner combo you'd least like to be squeezed in between at your local sauna'. You have to say, that's just excellent.

Hi Sainsbury's the nectar price on Pepsi max isn't very advantageous... Nectar

“I once set up a political party and tried to persuade punters that the best way to change things was to employ the same bunch who cocked it all up last time”

BREAKING: The former leader of Reform UK in Wales, Nathan Gill, has pleaded guilty at the Old Bailey to eight bribery charges while an elected member of the European Parliament. The charges relate to making favourable statements about Russia in exchange for money during his

Boris Johnson Don't worry, you only need one if you intend to work for a living.

Dad’s books are full of empathy, common sense, and a healthy suspicion of the powerful. But at its heart his work is also about how systems keep people poor while pretending it’s their own fault. So I hope Kemi’s taking notes as well as reading the jokes.

The Simpons are at it again. I didnt realise Musk was Mr Burns though...

Hi TfL this service didnt stop at Norwood junction... no announcement no info - how do we get compensation?

The problem is the ref doesn't make a decision because VAR will review, but the VAR doesn't want to "re-referee", it should have suggested a 2nd look. It wasn't shielding, it's a clear foul - whomever "deemed" below was more doing so to try justify the mistake.