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gooooob morning. i am making the executive decision. that it is too cold. to do anything at all today. secure a cuddle buddy. and recommence your snoozles

This thread 😻

hi. if you would like to cuddle. i certainly wouldn’t oppose

i’m a simple pup. i don’t need much. just your attention at all times. and for everyone i ever meet to love me a whole bunch

Here's an abridged excerpt of an essay from my book! It's about my attraction & repulsion to optimization, & how easy it is, under conditions of artificial but constantly escalating obligation, to organize your life around practices you find indefensible theguardian.com/news/2019/aug/…

My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life." Toddlers are cold-blooded, man.

hot girl summer is over, get ready for goblin boy fall. we’re making crystals with our hands, we’re transforming into owls, we’re falling in love with a lady and stealing her brother away to live in our kingdom underground.

One time I got into a very full Uber Pool and halfway through the otherwise silent ride the driver turned around and whispered to us “...you’re all named Elisabeth.”

The young people at the climate march are hopeful & furious, I cried every 2 min at how awful & amazing it is that they’re out here pleading to have a future despite our policies, we will owe it to them if this planet survives

Dear Santa, Although this child has only the most casual relationship with the truth and her letter is pure lies and fabrication, please make sure she is on the Good List because she’s definitely the best kid. Love, Jojo’s Mommy

THE WEEK BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS

forgot that mum thing mums do where they leave things on the stairs for u to take up with u. just constant neat little piles. see an ibuprofen pack, an off-brand phone charger and an empty water bottle on a stair and know: a mum has been here, recently, and might still be around

sadly I continue to want things

had about 9 cups of coffee today and now i can see inside out through time. don’t have any blood left. just Vibration. going to alphabetise the alphabet (it’s all wrong. will explain later) then going fight the moon. good night and good morning and thanks

Everyone's a critic

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