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Birthday Specuals

Fucking hilarious Ricky Gervais

‘Hi Chelsea fans, this is for you. Fans in the stadium, fans in London, fans everywhere. I love you.’ 💙 @HazardEden10 #UELfinal

Is Manchester United vs Tottenham the game of the season so far? 💭

Crying with laughter 😂😂

themaydaymile.rnli.org/fundraising/ch…

Watch Chelsea vs Arsenal live stream online - 247Football 247football.net/live-sport/che…

@daibiza_90 looking for, female #rogerthealien

The elements glycoprotein and selenium are both found in human semen and can help reduce breast cancer in women by almost 50%.

"UberFacts: Mountain Dew was originally made to be mixed with whiskey." Works with gin too.

If this tweet annoys or bores you unfollow me, you fucking gorp. If you're not a gorp, RT it to annoy a gorp who doesn't follow me. Haha

Every mother on earth gave birth to a child. Except my mom, she gave birth to a fucking legend. Congrats mom.

Piers Morgan just seen this plaque didn't realise you were born in 1965 the rest is not new to me twitpic.com/cyc4el

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.

“Frankie Boyle Updates “UberFacts: A "cunt hair" is the second smallest unit of measurement, used for nearly infinitesimal distances.”

Luckily this Arsenal team have plenty of experience playing with 10 men after years of playing alongside Bendtner.

Before ya start no I'm not up early cos I've wet or browned the bed. Working on't sketch show today

Good luck! Simply RT this post for a chance to win my signed Team Wiggins jersey - I'll pick a winner in the next few days. Merry Xmas you filthy animals 🎅🏻