when SpongeBob and Patrick violated the whole state of Texas for no reason 😭

The ‘asylum’ in question:

Hey, let’s solve two problems at once. We should start a camp in the desert for juvenile delinquents and make them dig holes every single day in the hot sun to build character. They’ll become upstanding citizens and we’ll help save the planet!

You’d think if you had body cam footage of someone murdering a US service member in their own home it’d be an open and shut case, but I guess fucking not.

babe wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on indeed until i start to cry

[agustus gloop falls into the chocolate river] me: *under my breath* this is going to ruin the tour

People in the largest city of your state are on their sixth consecutive day without electricity and you’re glazing

And all are valid.

Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz

I know a box of Cheez Its hate to see me coming

public services shouldn’t need to be profitable

Texas, chose your fighter!

Um

He famously caused a measles outbreak in Samoa that killed 83 people

Josseli Barnica, was denied the immediate emergency medical care she needed when she went to the hospital experiencing a miscarriage. The delay in care cost Josseli her life. After arriving at the hospital she was told that, “They had to wait until there was no heartbeat, It