This is what women’s history really is—women who never had a chance to live up to their potential. I’m glad they had kids, but where would humanity be if they had also had access to the opportunities their sons had? The future is incredibly bright.

It’s barely fun to find out dirty secrets anymore—too many people are writing essays about their now-mundane sexual quirks.

If I do anything nasty, I promise to hide it and try to act normal, so it’s nice and juicy when people find out.

What the feminists don’t know is it is now and always has been a power move for women to take a man’s name and slap it on themselves and whatever babies they happen to have during the marriage.

Marriage was about whose kids have a right to your name and your stuff. Laws used to

Definitely not a conspiracy theory

Time to watch this again 🥵

It’s fascinating that people are willing to boycott Starbucks to the tune of $300/year but we don’t hear calls for people to boycott these evil universities that are getting $50,000+ per person. If you’re gonna boycott, boycott.

Today is the day the Jews were advised to leave the Columbia campus so fast their bread was unable to rise

Definitive proof, case closed.

I tried on shorts yesterday and could hear how my sister would make fun each pair with perfect clarity when I looked in the mirror:

- are you the den mother?
- hmm, like Lucille Bluth dressed as a sailor
- Jodie Foster wore those in The Accused
- maybe this store isn’t for you

Julie, I guarantee Nora Ephron had an annoying relative from Brooklyn.

Related to this—I told my daughter about situations in which she should avoid men and how, and sometimes that will make her seem really rude or paranoid.

It is better for her to seem like the bad guy than to find out some man really is.

How did Nutter Butter never take off as slang for semen?