This is the biggest long shot of my life. But I simply have to try. Please, please share this. You just never know what might happen 🙏🏻 Can you possibly help Southeastern RingGo Kent Police (UK) & let me know what forms to fill in please. I’d be so very grateful.

My column on Russell Brand, the media, the noughties - and what I got wrong theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

Love that to pass our national citizenship test you have to agree we like to have a good laugh at ourselves or we'll fucking deport you

The definition of the right kind of crisis for Boris Johnson in this column made me spit out my coffee

Recreate the magic of ‘A Christmas Carol’ for an elderly relative by waking them repeatedly to tell them where they’ve gone wrong in life.

🤩🤩🤩

I just found out about recency bias, and I’d have to say that out of all the biases, it’s my favourite.

Someone needs to teach them the word Prince

Colin Munro and the ball boy We all need this in our life

Forget local derby winning goals and Ashes winning wickets, this is the tweet I want to retweet the hardest in the World

[Listening to a song from the 70s] Singer: I love you, girl Me: He means girl like a woman Singer: Yes I love you, little girl Me: I guess he means like late teens Singer: You're just a child, so young, little girl Me: Oh no

Well I suppose Sunak did make an extraordinary come back, in the sense that he came back to the UK early and it really was effing extraordinary.

This is the most bored I've ever been watching sport and I've watched Derbyshire County Cricket Club #EURo2024

The funny thing about this far right meme from Fox is the high campness of the tone absolutely means it could also serve as the spoken word intro to a really pounding hi nrg disco number from the 1970s. By anyone from Gloria Gaynor to Sylvester. Do you think thats his intent?

Just caught my tomatoes trying to sneak out.

🧵 WHEN I WAS 10 I BURGLED A HOUSE 🧵

🚨 🅹🅴🆁🆂🅴🆈 🅶🅸🆅🅴🅰🆆🅰🆈 🚨 To celebrate the New Year, I'm offering you my jersey. To enter, that’s easy: just RT + Follow ! The winner will be announced on January 10.

The president of Ukraine forming a partnership with the president of Albania is the Quinn and Phillips of international diplomacy #safc

I need all the retweets you can manage, thank you.