Border Collie named "Pink", has won the agility competition for the 3rd year in a row at the 2020 Westminster Dog Club Show #dogs

Hey sure we're back on Twitter why not? Here's a clip from this week's free episode w/Adam Tod Punch Nazis Connor McSpadden and bi-onic rad-neck , available wherever podcasts are at!

I'm starting to think Marianne Williamson might not win until tomorrow, or even the next day 😥

No one has ever even considered doing a split screen audience reaction during a stand up special. Unbelievable. SINBAD THE GOAT. #neverbombed

if you’re a guy in your early 20s, buy a duel disk go into debt if you have to having a duel disk communicates status to women and business relationships

A stranger just said “good morning” to me on the street. In Los Angeles. Psychopath behavior.

When you fart and it feels like you're blowing a bubble down there... what's going on? Like is there actually a thin film of doo doo mucus that blows up and pops? Or is it just the sensation of air building up pressure against the closed aperture of the booty hole? I WANT ANSWERS

Can’t decide if Steve Albini getting an absolute zero for the Grammys In Memorium is cool or if it bums me out. Leaning towards being bummed out.

Hey Now! Shrek is back!!!!

Tramp stamp idea: “Call 8-1-1 before you dig.”

12:30pm CDT #SPC Day2 Outlook Enhanced Risk: ACROSS A BROAD AREA CENTERED OVER THE OHIO/MID MISSISSIPPI/TENNESSEE VALLEYS spc.noaa.gov/products/outlo…

In the 1980s, the Soviets created an arcade game called “turnip strength,” where the objective of the game was to help your grandmother pull a turnip from the ground. Soviet arcade games almost exclusively had themes of physical labor, military combat, or Soviet patriotism

Researchers have developed a so-called "red wine pill", which gives all the benefits of red wine without the alcohol. Yeah. It's called a grape.

Same.

This is why you can’t bring back Y2K. It starts with big ass jeans and clipart, but the next thing you know the government wants to invade the Middle East for WMDs.

Just realized Gohan and Milo from The Descendents have the same character arc. Everyone wants to see them kick ass but they just keep going to college.